I think I am feeling empty nest twinges --I do not need to drive anyone to school or pick them up, Run spelling words /multiplication tables, memorize Purple Cow, go to sports games And since Z has been working after school the day does not break at 3:30 to transition to evening... I do not love this...... I may try to get a new job sometime soon--- but I do wish at times I could repeat some of the years of the past and do everything better. When people ask How I am? and I say I've been....w./ a hesitation they fill in the word busy and I say no not like I use to be. At the Drs office they say well stress could cause that--- have you been under a lot of stress? No, not really.... SO I am truly in a different stage of life-- I look forward to it and even though I am content and and happy --- the time to myself I craved as a young mom is not always what it is cracked up to be.
Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons! ************ "Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are." **************
"A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world." --Paul Dudley White
************ "Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night. But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired." - George S. Patton, U.S. Army General, 1912 Olympian
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this… When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome To Holland”. “Holland?!?” you say, “What do you mean “Holland”??? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy” But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place. So you must go and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills…Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy…and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned”. And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.