Thursday, August 25, 2011

One year ago today

One year ago today my life changed because my Mom passed from pain to heaven I am gratefl she is not in pain == I miss her laugh and caring for her - I miss having a Mom  ==This year I have had the sensation of :the buck stops here - like I should know more do more be ///Wise??/ now that I am the eldest female in my own family (I do have lots of older sisters) but I found that sensation an odd part of the grief I  have been dealing  with  this past year == I know the rest of my extended  family  is also grieving facing their own questions and mortality  too...  as I add ailments in my own life I wonder about mortality how long I will live? how long healthy? and will I burden my children? and what about Becca? what can I do to become more healthy and to be more prepared - I know it all sounds kinda selfish ==  and I wonder why grief brings about these thoughts instead of just dwelling on the fun  memories but I am coping and just miss my mom at times.......  

3 comments:

Merf said...

my mom said the same thing when her mom passed---a passing of the torch, so to speak....needing to be the next great generation. You are well on your way to being one of the greats!

Shuldberg's in Texas said...

some of those thought are mine :(
Hugs

Sue said...

The deeper the love the greater, the grief.
You are still processing and feeling.

My dad's been gone over 20 years. No one has come close to filling that void.

I do know that for every loss the Lord compensates. I have felt the blessings in my life, even though what I wanted was to have my father back♥

A very tender post.