I have often thought of the word placate as 'not so nice' but... I'll take placate! I often have told my DH that I understand when he couldn't be at some things, that he couldn't run home each and every time I was frazzled and wanted a break when the children were small, and I wish I could travel like you do for work....I did uderstand,most of the time. But I really wanted to hear the words "I wish I could be there" and,"I want to to come home, but I can't right now" or "I wish you were here" hearing the words is oft times all I need---- because in my heart I know he loves me.
Is this what some call common courtesy?
The same goes for my friends and extended family:siblings, children, parents --- if i just get a quick email, voice mail, note in the mail, or blog comment, I am happy:> I may still want more but I know they are ok. So when DH is out of town he says "I wish you were here" I know he means it but I also know he knows I need to hear that! Call me needy, I know,---
When my son called last night I knew it was probably out of obligation , because I know he is so busy, but it warmed my heart. When my other son comes by twice a week I know it is a scheduled visit, but I love it. I love that my DIL has a blog and we have almost daily short lines of communication-- I love that my sister comments daily too.
I don't want to have a hold on my loved ones, just a place in their hearts. If I am being a 'Everybody Loves Raymond Mom" please tell me!? my goal is to keep communication open-- not to loose track --
I need to be so much better myself-- I used to think of the word obligation as bad but I think maybe being an obligation is a deep love. I have a sister who learned this early in life, it seemed to take me a lot longer and I hope to do better w/ my communication w/all my family.
Some days I wave.
1 hour ago