Monday, June 23, 2008

Don't compliment me

I feel sad that I did something yesterday: I lost my train of thought in the middle of teaching a class I wanted to read a quote because I was not sure I said it correctly so I read what I thought it was and it was the wrong quote(which is not that awful in and of itself) but then I went blank totally blank and tried several others and asked for help but just felt so inadequate-- I usually enjoy speaking and teaching because I learn so much more---but I did not do well and feel sick about it.
I know I had missed 2 nights of good sleep but that is not a good enough excuse -It was interesting the responses I have gotten: the one who know me the very longest and best commiserated w/me-- those who counted on me were disappointed but so kind --Those who know me well and love me warts and all barely noticed and I do not know if there was someone who needed to hear what was in that lesson and didn't get it. To be truthful I did feel the connection of people hearing and getting what I was teaching a couple of times and for that i am grateful but I referred to my error too many times and the only conclusion I can come to is the week before someone told me I did a good job and I had to prove them wrong. So please don't compliment me -- When I told my hubby about it and he asked me why I thought it happened? I said 'I guess I needed humility. I didn't write this for pleas of sympathy --I wanted it written down so I can learn from this humbling experience and move on.

5 comments:

Love My Cottage Garden said...

Just proves you are human. Do your best and move along but mistakes are there to learn from. You will be stronger and more prepared next time. love you!!! but no compliments from me....just because you commanded it.

I have a good life said...

I can't compliment you...you've forbidden it...or I would! :) I do have to agree, though, that I connected with you and the lesson on several points, particularly your testimony at the end. If I'm ever allowed to compliment, I'll tell you more! :) Love ya TONS! Thanks for your support.

Tori said...

Sorry, wasn't there so I can't comment, however I don't think it happened to teach you humility, it happened because you are human! Most people speaking in public these days use teleprompters! There is only one person who would want you to beat yourself up about going blank when speaking....so DON'T!

Holly said...

I know EXACTLY what it was...it was the heat...sometimes the R.S. room is a sauna...in turn making it hard to concentrate...in turn making you feel like people aren't responsive...in turn making it hard for you to concentrate. So in all actuality you did a wonderful job since the rest of us would have stood up there and melted along with everyone else.

SandyCarlson said...

I do this, too, Marcia. I grew up with a lot of fault-finders. Somehow, to accept a compliment was to be arrogant! I realized by rejecting compliments I was rejecting kindness possibly because I didn't know what to do with it. Now I try to be quiet, breathe, and let it be. It can be so painful, though!